Co Parenting...

I am not sure how to do co parenting since neither one of my children's father's are consistently there.

Daughter's father - use to come 1 day a year, now sees her about a week or two total per year...

Son's father - NEVER.

Now the reason I am bringing this subject up is because I am unsure what to do.

My daughter's father is coming to see her next weekend.

Now my daughter is saying that she doesn't want to see him and that she hates him. Yeah. fun stuff huh?

Also he is coming when it is really inconvenient in our schedule.

He is coming during the school week, which in itself doesn't make sense to me whatsoever, considering about 8 hours of her day is spent at school not with him, so why is he even bothering?

I have to be at work at 6am, therefore we wake up around 4 - 5am Monday - Friday, which means bedtime is at 7:30 pm. I don't get home with the kiddos until about 4 - 4:30. Which means I have about 3 hours at most to get dinner, homework, bath time, story time, and just trying to hear about their day. So he wants to come and take those 3 hours away. UMMMM. NO.

I know others look at the situation, and say that I should just be happy that he shows up, but to be honest, the hell with that shit.

I know it hurts my daughter to not have a "daddy".

She was made fun of because she comes from a single parent home. Not by her decision nor mine.

She saw how differently he treats his son from her with her own eyes.

She saw how well he takes care of his son but not her.

That is something I wish I could have protected her from.

There was also an incident that occurred while he was here last time, which was like the icing on the cake for her I suppose.

I have always wanted my daughter to have a relationship with her father. About 40% of me still does, because when she grows up I don't want her to blame me for having a non existent bond with him.

The other 60% would rather just never have any form of contact with him, mainly because of the lack of parenting, involvement, and not being able to provide stability within her life.

I rather just have us wait for that man who will come into our lives to show my children what a "daddy" is.

Anyone can be a father, but it truly takes a real man to be a "daddy".

And my daughter deserves to have one.

Unfortunately it is not her Father.

Fortunately her father is a "Daddy" to his son.

We don't need another child in this world without another parent.

Now don't get me wrong I am not trying to bash my daughter's father, because without him, I wouldn't have my daughter.

I am just saying that my daughter is going to be 7 soon, and she STILL has no relationship, or bond, or anything with her father. All because of him. My door has always been open for him to see her.

Now it just seems there are soooo many factors for him to see her.

And at this point, I feel like it would just be easier to close that open door.

First he told me that when he is home that his wife has to "find time" and "schedule" him "certain" days that he can come and see her. Which to me is somewhat mean. What if my daughter wanted to see her dad on a whim, would she have to "schedule" an appointment to do so?

Also he tells me that if his wife comes then he could spend more time with my daughter.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand that my daughter has a Step mom, but when you don't even have a relationship built with your child, wouldn't you just want to focus your time on your child while you can, instead of bringing everyone along? Is that something, where I am the only person who feels like that?

Also he tells me what he "wants" to do, instead of respecting the schedule I have for my daughter that I need to enforce since she is WITH ME ALLLLLLLLL year long. Don't change the schedule homie, or else you'll get cut. As an adult he should understand I have this schedule so I can go to work to afford to care for our child BY MYSELF, which HE CHOOSED.

And then on top of it, he wants to have my daughter stay in a hotel while he is here. Um no.

She has a home, with me.

He is allowed to stay at my house or stay at a hotel, that is up to him, but my daughter stays at my house.

I can't trust him with her, especially knowing the things I know, which I am not going to share with the world because it is not my place to do so.

Some may say I am controlling, but I couldn't care less.

Especially since the court verbally said that I have full custody of her, so therefore all that I do is up to me. If he wants more, which is not the case since he doesn't even do much now, he can change that by going to court. AND if that EVER happens, I will fight tooth and nail, because I don't want him to change my daughter.

Co-Parents out there, you know what I am talking about. Child goes to dad's house, comes back not listening, not eating certain things, disrespectful to you because at dad's house and dad's family bashes mom and nothing gets said. (Which is sadly true in my case....it amazings me how people can be the first to say mean things about someone, yet they have never done ANYTHING for that child).

So I am asking for advise? help? direction?

How should I go about the situation.

I've been trying since day one to have my daughter and her father to have a relationship, almost 7 years later and still nothing.

She wants nothing to do with him because of something that happened, and what she saw.

Now I am just thankful I don't have this all this shit with my son's father.

Should I continue to push for that relationship, or should I just push that door shut?