Emotional Eater.

That is what I am.

So I stopped at Carl's Jr before work and ordered, and ordered, and ordered.

Right now I am in a REALLY dark spot in my life.
Normally I don't talk to people about what is going on.
And I am going to continue to do so.
I am just extremely unhappy right now.
And nothing seems to go right.

So I eat, when I am going through a hard time.
And right now, I am just eating non stop.
NO BUENO!!!

Hopefully this hard time passes quickly, because my FAT clothes are starting to get tight :(
And I have CA in less than 2 months away. NO BUENO.

Get yo' shit together girl!!
Snap out of that rut!

Ugh.

So obviously I didn't start using myfitness pal app yesterday...FAIL.

Oh fucking well.

Let me get my shits together!!!

Well life sucks, so I am going to continue to die slowly inside while working today!

Hope you have a better day than I am rocking!

Late bitches!

Projectile Vomiting.

That is how I spent my night last night.

In a parking lot.

Outside of Olive Garden.

During the dinner rush.

FML.

So much for trying to have a somewhat "nice" family dinner, with my cra cra mexican kiddos.

What's annoying is when people ask and you tell them what's going on they get grossed out. Especially moms. Now don't get me wrong, but did we not go through baby puke, shit and pee everywhere, the messes of potty training, and your going to fucking get grossed out by my vomit. Fuck off. Your ridiculous.

Anywho I feel better now that all my guts are missing. :)

So today I spent stuffing my dick sucking hole with fatty food to make up for what I lost yesterday.
And no it wasn't a fucking great idea. I'm laying on my couch, like a beach whale stuck on the beach.  except I have pillows that are going flat as I type this.

Which brings me to my next random topic.
I'm starting to count calories...tomorrow.
Follow my shit on myfitnesspal app.
Estefanie1102
Hold me accountable.

I HAVE to start losing weight.
CA is just around the corner!
& even though I'm happy about my bestie losing over 100 pounds. Bitch. I was always the thinner one. And now I'm not.
My bestie doesn't know but I'm jealous of the way she looks!
It's amazing on how far she has come!
She only has 19 more pounds to lose, then she'll be at her goal.
Whatev. I still hate love her ;)
I've already told her all this shit, except the jealous part. Something women have issues admitting...

Well I have to go shopping, to make myself feel better, than realize I don't fit in anything, which will lead to some form of ice cream.

Random pic time!

Night skinny bitches!

&&I've joined the scentsy bandwagon! I'm excited!

The moon on the way to work.

 Under there somewhere is my little man. Ahaha

slow down.

So much has happened within about 3 days, I think maybe it's a sign to slow down. 

I started taking diet pills that make me feel like I'm crack. 

Everything seems to be moving in slow motion or maybe it's just me moving to fast. Idk. 

My princess lost her first tooth!!!

HUGE milestone bitches! 

I don't want my babies growing up this fast :(

It kinda sucks that I don't have "someone" to share this shit with. 

Maybe some day soon...

And I burnt my leg on Friday night while serving. 

Fucking snowbirds and their damn fucking coffee can suck my hypothetical dick. 

I haven't been working out. 

Well I've  been lifting free weights in my house. 

Better than nothing I suppose. 

I've got to spend much needed time with my princess. 

Since I burnt my leg it hurts to move around a lot, so I took my princess to get our nails done. So we can just sit and relax. :)

Also the plans to CA are starting to be planned :)

Can't fucking wait! 

Well I have to start getting ready for work. 

Let's see how this goes...

And of course the random pics ;)

WTF?!

So I livein AZ. Where you can cook an egg on the damn sidewalk during the summer. I know because I tried it. Yeah it gets boring here during the 8 months of fucking summer.

So when I look outside and see snow, I'm like WTF?!

It's pretty, but people here in AZ do NOT know how to drive in the heat, especially in the "Blizzard" that we got here yesterday. Cars were swerving all over the damn freeway, losing control of their cars. WTF?! Ugh and don't even get me started on these damn snowbirds that come from the North and the East to get away from the cold winters. Can someone PLEASE explain to me how the fuck they drive across country without dying?! Pun not intended. Seriously?! They can't even see the fork next to their damn plate! I know because I see it every time I serve at night or weekends...

Anywho back to the real WTF.

So last week was basically my fat girl week. What I mean about week, is from Thursday or Friday of last week, until today.

I've been stuffing my dick sucking hole with everything that is greasy, full of sugar, and makes you fat.

I went through the I-don't-care-that-I'm-fat! The someone-will-love-me-no-matter-what! The I'll-work-it-off-later!

Well guess fucking what bitches?!

I've gained all 7 pounds that I fucking lost!

And probably gained a few more. Ugh.

Can I just be married to my filthy rich husband yet so I can get a chef and a mommy makeover and call it a day?

I promise daily blow jobs!

FUCK.

Not happening yet. No rich husband :'(

So today I had egg whites with potatoes cooked in olive oil for breakfast.

Brown rice, steamed veggies, and chicken for lunch.

And a SHITLOAD of Iced tea.

That shit is addicting.

I NEED my iced tea.

Or a bitch might get hurt.

I am also going to work out tonight.

I am starting the C25K...AGAIN. TONIGHT.

I am sooooo determine to get Jillian Michaels' arms'.

And a booty that can drop it like it's hot, from all those damn squats.

I am getting tired of starting over.

This body is going to be skinny once and for all bitches!

And it's hard to say no to cheesecake and to all the greasy food that I get for FREE at the restaurant I work at...UGH fat girl FAIL.

I will be in CA in April and I am determine to find my husband during that week. :)

So NO MORE FAT GIRL FOOD!

My rich filthy husband deserves a skinny MILF. ;)

SO here are just a few random pics, because that is how I roll.

Hope you like :)

Adios!

The view from my house. The snow.

My SECRET addition...

What I need to put on my Fridge.

Yup.

The legs I want!!!!

Feeling.

Yup. I fail at this blog.

Sorry I am not keeping all my 7 readers updated. Blah.

I've been busy slaving away at this thing that is called a job...times 2.

Oh and raising my brats =]

I've also been failing at my diet.

I need to either plan that shit better or just marry a filthy rich man so I can get a personal chef.

At this point, it looks like I'm going to have to get off my lazy ass and plan my food.

Unless someone randomly comes across my blog and is the filthy rich man who is willing to feed me and buy me boobs. You know what, that is a fucking brilliant plan. EVERYONE needs to see my damn blog asap and find me that man!!!

Which brings me to the title of this blog, that is going to bring me my filthy rich man, I have this feeling. Obviously...

I have this feeling that something is going to happen. ahaha like I am going to wake up tomorrow or some bullshit like that.

Anywho, I truly have this feeling that something BIG & HUGE is going to happen.

And hopefully it's the next dick I fuck.

WHOA! WHAT?! DID SHE JUST SAY THAT?!

Um yes, yes I did. Don't believe me, read above.

I seriously do believe something is going to happen.

It's weird. Every time I think about it, I get this tingling feeling all over my body

Probably because of the big O I'll get from fucking the BIG & HUGE dick. Who knows.

On a serious note, something is going to happen. I am not sure when, who, or what may be involved.

Sigh...the future. Every girl dreams of it.

Someday of marrying our prince charming with good hair, body, money, and dick, who will buy us amazing boobs, chef, maid, and a sports car.

Is that too much to ask for?

I think not!

So today at work, my co workers and I decided to sit down and have lunch together.

MUCH NEEDED LAUGHS WITH SOME BITCHES!!!

It is impossible to not laugh with those cra cra ladies.

I LOVES IT!

We were having a blast, when one of them, was saying that they wished that they were more like me.

Whoa. WTF?! No one EVER tells me that shit.

She said that she loves the fact that I have no filter.

I say what I want, when I want, and to who I want.

Most of the time, that shit will get me in trouble, but then again, I don't care and then I'll talk shit about it. ahaha.

I suppose you can say I really don't have a filter.

I've notice I get more of what I want by not holding back what I have to say.

I LOVES IT!

As for Single Awareness Day aka Valentine's Day, I got a surprise from my Valentine's!!!

I got a bouquet of flowers and a cute card waiting for me in my car!

I LOVED IT!

My kiddos are sooo sweet.

I love them sooooo much!

They are truly what make me happy.

I love coming home everyday to excitement, hugs, and kisses.

Which also makes me think that this year, I'll have a 7 year old and a 4 year old!

Where has the time gone?!?!

FUCK. I'm getting old.

My babies are getting big =[

It makes me sad but yet soooo excited at the same time!

I can't wait to have more "adult" convo's with my daughter. I want to be her Lorelai to Rory, her Romy to Michele, her Sophia to Dorothy, and her Marge to Lisa.

If you have no idea what I am referring to, I'm sorry that your not fucking awesome.

Anywho, I'm gonna go back to watching more movies of the hopeless romantic crap that they show in VERY unrealistic movies, which is EXACTLY what I am looking for. Um Nicholas Sparks, where the fuck is my "perfect" guy. I am in the desert so I can't just be chilling near a lighthouse hoping some fucking hot guy is looking for me. SIGH. If only.

Alright bitches.

Keep getting skinny!



Fat girl...

Yes. I deem myself as a fat girl.

And I'm ok with that.

Reasons being:

- I know after all the hard work that I will be putting in will make me stronger. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.

- I will be about to say "I told you so" to MYSELF.

- I will show my devils...I mean kids that a healthy lifestyle is IMPORTANT!

- To motivate other fat girls to achieve what everyone thinks they can't.

- && to have that "after" photo of all the sweat and tears I had to go through to get there.

Those are some things I think to myself when I am dying in gym, wanting to quit because it hurts.

If I am not happy with myself, how is anyone else going to be happy with me?

Not that there is someone else here right now, but there will be, and I want to be an addition to their life, not some whale showing up with a shit load of suitcases full of damn "baggage".

Anywho, yes I am a fat girl on my way to being a Healthy In shape girl.

Everyday is a challenge to say "NO" to the foods I want soooo bad.

Everyday is a challenge to be the person to push yourself out the door to go through PAIN for 60 mins.

Everyday I am one step closer to my goal.

Everyday I am pushing through the pain that I never knew I could.

Everyday I wake up sore, knowing I put in the work.

Everyday I wake up happier knowing I am truly challenging myself.

I am a FAT GIRL who is getting RID of my FAT, because I don't want to find that shit again!!!

Sorry for the babbling, it's just what showed up on here. ahaha

Anywho, I went to the gym last night and I PUSHED myself soooo much!!!

I was on the elliptical for a hour straight with a crossramp of 20 and resistance of 6.

Holy ballsack, did that shit burn. I thought my ass was on a tortilla pan or something.

Nope it was just damn little calories that make my clothes don't fit.

I've noticed since I've started working out everyday, that it makes me think twice before I put something in my mouth (that's what she said).

Is that cookie REALLY worth eating, when you have to spend about 20 mins to burn that tiny little thing off?

Today - No.

Tomorrow - Maybe ;]

I guess it depends on my mood, but for the most part NO, the damn delicious, yummy, wonderful cookie is not worth the 20 sweatfest.

I worked out for about an hour yesterday and burned off 500+ calories =]

Now for the bad news.

I weigh myself EVERYDAY.

I know I shouldn't do that but I can't help it.

I want to make sure all that sweat and cussing is paying off.

SO when I went to weigh myself this morning, that bitch scale went up 3 lbs.

UMMM...WTF?!

So I was talking to boss and the bestie, they both said it has to be muscle build.

UMMM...Excuse me?!

There is no muscle building going on right now, it's just fat jiggling around while doing cardio, that's going on.

I'm not sure whether or not it's muscle or not, but let me just tell you, when I hit the gym tonight.

IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG BITCH!!!

That damn scale is going DOWN.......................

Here are a few pics from the weekend, somethings that I am eating, thinking, and looking like after the gym...

keep going until there is no more jiggling

So I worked out again tonight, and I must say I'm quite proud of myself. 

I workout at the gym at my apts, I cancelled my gym membership to cut down bills but I don't care. I like the privacy, plus my boss motivates me to push myself! 

I did a total of 8.5 miles tonight between biking, walking, and that damn elliptical. That thing is a beast when you it's on a crossramp of 14 and resistant of 7. Let's just say from my lower back down feels like jello.I truly have no idea how I'm going to survive work tomorrow. Ugh who cares, as long as I'm getting skinny! 

Another thing is I was able to do all of those miles in a hour and a half!

Fat girl WIN!!!!

No fail for me tonight baby!!!!

Also I'm going to try to eat cleaner. Definitely more fruits and veggies! 

I'm going to CA for a vacation soon so I want to look good. 

Now I'm not expecting to be exactly where I want to be in two months or something, I understand this is a process but I'm going to push myself until I can't feel my legs, arms, or whatever I may be doing that night. 

I get motivated by competing, hence my boss being there with me. We each are competitive, so we push each other. Also results are a huge motivator for me. I want that bitch of a scale to go down to a certain number. And I've been seeing that number slowly go down since my post of me complaining of being at my heaviest, which i think was just lady week, so more workouts for me! 

Well I'm off to bed now. My feet are about to fall off.

I workout!!!

So today was Day 1 of working out.

I wanted to die after 1.3 seconds. Blah.

But I kept at it and stayed a full hour and burned off 400 calories =]

I know I know, that number may not be a lot but to me it is at this time.

 

I weighed myself before I went to work out. I wanted to start crying. I weigh the heaviest I have EVER weighed. :'[

I think that is what made my butt push harder at the gym.

Or that I went to workout with my boss.

We live in the same apartment complex and yet I am late EVERYDAY to work. (but that is another story in itself).

 

My boss is determine to get in shape so we each needed a workout buddy so it works great!

We get along and push each other in the gym, and we get to laugh about how we jiggle.

She is A LOT smaller than I am but that is what pushed me at the gym as well. I want to considered "small". Now I know being 5'9 is not "small", but I want a small waist, small hips, small arms. Damn it I want to be small!!!!

 

I think I am going to stick it out this time. I've always started and then stop, started and then stop. This time around I have someone there 24/7. I sit right next to my boss and we live 2 buildings apart. She'll keep my ass in check. ahaha Love that about her. Also the "adult time" was awesome!

 

So I am feeling good so far.

I haven't been sleeping well for the past 2 months so hopefully I'll have a good nights rest tonight from working out.

 

I want to be sexy and know it!

I WORKOUT!!

 

First step out the door is always the hardest, but I did it =]

 

No that is not me.

I got this GREAT motivation quote off of PINTEREST {Follow me PLEASE}

 

Well off to rest.

 

Have a great night!

 

 



Shockingly...

I don't have anything to write about.

 

My life is boring.

 

I have no life.

 

I work 80 hours a week.

 

Take care of my kids.

 

Eat junk food.

 

And sleep.

 

 

Blah....

 

BUT!!!

 

My Rocco is with me tonight!

 

I am not sure if I mentioned that Rocco had to go to another home for awhile because of my lame apts, which I am moving out of as soon as my lease is up!!!!

Well my little baby Rocco is here with me!!!!!

We took him to the store, out for a walk/run, and I gave him a bath.

Aww I miss my little puppy baby!!!

We are all cuddling =]

 

Now if only I could find my future husband (within 3 years;P) so he could cuddle with us.

 

Well until that time, my kiddos and puppy are it =]

 

and the date I'm taking myself out on valentine's day.

LAME!!!

 

It's just I feel awkward going out on the "V" day with someone that I really am not into.

Just don't want to lead anyone on, and then they get clingy....ew.

 

But as for my date.

Facial, nails, massage and sleep.

SO a day to myself =]

I'll take it!!!

 

Last year I bought myself a nook tablet =]

LOVE IT!

 

Do you have any rocking plans for the "V" day?

 

Have a good night =]