Why is she looking like a hot mess?!

WHOOOOAAAAA!!!!

 

I am actually sitting down and writing on my blog!! I can't believe it!

 

So where do I start?

 

Hmmm...Let's see I'm fat, sick, and exhausted. yup. That sums it up ;]

 

I've gained 17 pounds in this past month...That makes me depressed. How do I overcome this battle of being oBEAST? Ugh...well I guess dieting. Blah. My mom told me that she is going to buy me the first round of HCG. I know that it is probably not the best thing but I want to be able to look in the mirror and actually see change and actually be HAPPY...I'll let you know how it works out.

 

I haven't felt that great lately. Probably because I am fat and eat shitty food. I have constant headaches, dizzy spells, and can't sleep. I've recently have been taking melatonin to help me with sleep. Also I haven't really been able to concentrate at work which is not good.

 

I've been absolutely exhausted. I feel like I'm going to pass out all the time. During my lunch at my weekday job, I take about a 15 minute nap, because I can no longer keep my eyes open. Working two jobs 7 days a week is really hard on me. Especially while trying to raise my children by myself. Yes I made a choice to have children but I didn't make the choice of having to raise them myself. Oh well I have to just endure this difficult time.

 

I can't believe it is almost Christmas!!! It's my FAVORITE holiday!!! All the shiny things! All the endless crafts!!! It is amazing!! Except for the price tag...Blah. I am able to squeeze a couple of extra bucks out for a few cheap gifts for my kiddos. I hope they like the little things I was able to buy them. I know Christmas isn't about gifts, but I would love to give my children a lot more, unfortunately the income of a single mother doesn't allow such things. Ok I'll get off my soap box now ;]

 

Also I've been having a really difficult time with my daughter. She has no respect for me whatsoever. She screams, kicks, bites, etc to my son and I. I have no idea what to do at this point. I am trying to do a marble and stick approach to discipline her. I'll explain more in a few weeks. I want to try it out to make sure it is effective before I promote something. Also any parenting advise is welcomed:]

 

And to end this quick post before I pass out...

 

I would like to take a moment and praise the children that were taken too early from us on Friday morning.

My heart and soul is aching for the emptiness the families may feel. I look at my 1st grader and I can't even imagine...

 

 

Please know little angels, you are now safe with Him. Yes, you'll be missed deeply but know that one day you will see your mommy and daddy again.

 

I am not going to comment on the bastard who did this, he doesn't deserve any recognition whatsoever.

 

On a lighter note, I'll be posting pictures up soon!!

 

Well the melatonin is kicking in...

Night!