Here we go...

So I am starting HCG tomorrow...

I'm extremely nervous. I hope I am able to do this. 

I am only going to do this diet for 30 days. I was going to do the full 40 days but I don't know if I'll be able to do so. 

I'll be doing my gorging stage for the next two days,  then I'll drop down to only 500 calories per day... as well as giving myself injections

Yup.

I'll let you know how everything works out. 

I also cut my hair off! 12 inches! 

I looooovvvvveeee my new hair!!!

Holy Ballsack!!!

I've lost 7 pounds this week!!!

And I haven't even worked out. =]

I feel better =]

Also this shirt that I have a goal to fit in is feeling a bit looser, not enough to "rock it", but definately closer.

 

I also had "junk food" this weekend. It was gross. Especially eating as healthy as possible for a week, the grease just makes my stomach hurt. It feels like I am going to puke.

 

I've also haven't had any soda for about two weeks.

 

I think I may work out tonight. I'm not too sure if I will, since I am sick yet again. Boo.

 

I am just excited about losing that much weight in a week. I really hope it continues to fall off as fast. I think I'll be disappointed if it doesn't. I want to at least be 20 pounds lighter by the end of January.

 

Keep going!!!!

 



And I want to be skinny!!!! Skinny here I come!!!

 

 

 

Have a great night!

It's finally happening...

I am finally feeling the motivation!!!

I am finally ready to change my body and become a beast not an oBEAST anymore.

 

It is time for change. I can feel it!!

 

Here are some pics of what I eat now on a daily basis.

I prep my meals each night.

Also I am trying to eat less than 1300 calories per day.

Breakfast & Lunch + 2 snacks

Dinner

Also here is a little note I put in my Miss Diva's lunch =]

O.M.GOSH!!!
My mom went to a psychic today and the lady told my mom that I am going to get married in 3 years ahaha! I am holding that lady accountable...ahaha PINTEREST wedding board here I come!!! ahaha

Also I am using the MyFitnessPal app on my phone to make sure I am in my calorie range. Also if I go out to eat I make sure that go to their website first and "put together" my meal and it'll tell me the calorie intake. I come prepared!! =]

I am also going to be doing HCG within the next few weeks. I am hopefully to drop at least 40 pounds within those horrific 6 weeks. Blah!

Wish me luck y'all!

Love ya! Night!

Lonely night...

so as I lay here in my bed about to pass out, I realize I am feeling a bit lonely. 

I have been out on dates with the hot Italian guy and my neighbor quite a few times, but it just doesn't fit what I want/looking for. Then again I wasn't really looking into anything withhot Italian guy or neighbor guy. just some plain 'ol fun.

Am I ready to start actually looking for that "one"? 

I think I am heading in that direction. 

I have yet wanted a serious relationship for the last 4 years...

Last one I had was with my son's father and that was a REALLY serious one.

I am now going to start opening up my heart.

I no longer want to feel as I do right now. I want to cuddle while watching scary movies, runin the rain when it actually rains in AZ, tell stupid jokes to someone who will pretend to laugh at the joke but in reality laughing at me, and most of all I want my children to have a father. 

This is the year of change...

I can feel it...

speaking of change.

Got my food planned for tomorrow.

I'll add pics tomorrow it is taking forever to upload.

Night.

Diet is a damn 4 letter word...

Dieting and I have a hate hate relationship. I am starving and this diet thingy isn't helping. 

I can't find anything healthy that I would enjoy eating eveyday. I suppose that is why the word diet is a 4 letter word. I need more motivation. My schedule really insane. I know I shouldn't use that as an excuse, but my schedule is truly exhausting. For instance, every Friday I work from 6:30am to 12am, that is basically a 18 hour day. I also work 7 days a week. I wish I had a personal chef haha.

Well I have suck it up. 

My motto:

EAT YOUR SALAD, NO DESSERT, GET THAT MAN YOU DESERVE!

Ineed to make a meal plan asap.

Also thank baby Jesus school is back in session! I love my babies but damn this single mama needs a break.

New Year's Eve with a recap of 2012

Well here I am, sitting in my house watching Joyful Noise while my son and I just finished up a mickey mouse puzzle and my daughter is snoring with her fluffy white rabbit she got for her 5th birthday.

 

To me this is exactly the way I would love to begin my new year.

Relaxing in my house with my beautiful children.

 

Last new year's was a bit stressful and I was in an extremely uncomfortable environment, so this past year has been filled with plenty of ups and downs. I would say quite a few more downs than I expected, and more than I would have liked.

 

A few highlights from this year is that

- I was able to take two vacations, and on one of them I saw my brother! I haven't seen him since he came down to baptise my daughter. And I got to see my bestie whom I haven't seen in what feels like forever and a day.

- I have a really great job NOW. I am very lucky to get the position that I currently have.

- My daughters' father and I seem to be able to communicate a lot better than before, which is REALLY great for my daughter.

- My princess is finally getting along with her friends at school and is truly growing academically!

- My little man is doing so great with his speech! It is amazing on far he has come over the year!

 

I'm not sure if I'm calling what I have planned for 2013 Resolutions or just plan ol' goals. I am not really good at keeping up with resolutions, so maybe from now on I'll just call them goals.

I have a few things that I want to accomplish this upcoming new year.

- I am determined to get out of any and all debt that I may have and be completely debt free.

- I want to lose all the weight that I need to lose...ugh I know everyone and their grandma will be in the gym tomorrow...

- I want to build a better relationship with my children.

- I want to either move into a house or buy a house. I've always lived in an apartment, but my daughter asked if we could live in a house. Ugh hurt my heart when she asked that. Why I am determined to be debt free to put all my money towards a little house for my little family.

- I want to get as far as possible with school so I can get my bachelor's.

- Also to have more time management so I can update this little blog more often.

 

So I think that is quite a few good things for me in the upcoming year.

 

 

I am truly excited for this new year! Yay!

 

Until next time loves!

 



Why is she looking like a hot mess?!

WHOOOOAAAAA!!!!

 

I am actually sitting down and writing on my blog!! I can't believe it!

 

So where do I start?

 

Hmmm...Let's see I'm fat, sick, and exhausted. yup. That sums it up ;]

 

I've gained 17 pounds in this past month...That makes me depressed. How do I overcome this battle of being oBEAST? Ugh...well I guess dieting. Blah. My mom told me that she is going to buy me the first round of HCG. I know that it is probably not the best thing but I want to be able to look in the mirror and actually see change and actually be HAPPY...I'll let you know how it works out.

 

I haven't felt that great lately. Probably because I am fat and eat shitty food. I have constant headaches, dizzy spells, and can't sleep. I've recently have been taking melatonin to help me with sleep. Also I haven't really been able to concentrate at work which is not good.

 

I've been absolutely exhausted. I feel like I'm going to pass out all the time. During my lunch at my weekday job, I take about a 15 minute nap, because I can no longer keep my eyes open. Working two jobs 7 days a week is really hard on me. Especially while trying to raise my children by myself. Yes I made a choice to have children but I didn't make the choice of having to raise them myself. Oh well I have to just endure this difficult time.

 

I can't believe it is almost Christmas!!! It's my FAVORITE holiday!!! All the shiny things! All the endless crafts!!! It is amazing!! Except for the price tag...Blah. I am able to squeeze a couple of extra bucks out for a few cheap gifts for my kiddos. I hope they like the little things I was able to buy them. I know Christmas isn't about gifts, but I would love to give my children a lot more, unfortunately the income of a single mother doesn't allow such things. Ok I'll get off my soap box now ;]

 

Also I've been having a really difficult time with my daughter. She has no respect for me whatsoever. She screams, kicks, bites, etc to my son and I. I have no idea what to do at this point. I am trying to do a marble and stick approach to discipline her. I'll explain more in a few weeks. I want to try it out to make sure it is effective before I promote something. Also any parenting advise is welcomed:]

 

And to end this quick post before I pass out...

 

I would like to take a moment and praise the children that were taken too early from us on Friday morning.

My heart and soul is aching for the emptiness the families may feel. I look at my 1st grader and I can't even imagine...

 

 

Please know little angels, you are now safe with Him. Yes, you'll be missed deeply but know that one day you will see your mommy and daddy again.

 

I am not going to comment on the bastard who did this, he doesn't deserve any recognition whatsoever.

 

On a lighter note, I'll be posting pictures up soon!!

 

Well the melatonin is kicking in...

Night!